tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap

Alarm goes off at 7:30, I hobble out of bed dragging most of the sheets with me. Jump into the shower. Shave. Shampoo. Soap. Maybe piss. Out. Get dressed. Slap some pb on one slice, j on another. Bag it. Wallet, car keys, smokes, phone, a buck in quarters and I’m out the door by 8:15.

When I get to work at 9, I write. Immediately. It wasn’t what I was hired to do – but then again, I’m not really sure what I was hired to do. I strap in and fwap away at keys until 12:30. Buy a bag of chips with the quarters. Munch munch munch, then nap in my car for 40 minutes. Back to writing.

It’s promotional copy-the whole lot of it. Sometimes it’s decent at best. Other times it was better left unsaid. It doesn’t matter, I’m told, it’s all about the SEO. 3:30 rolls around and I think “if this were 7:30, I’d just be getting out of bed right now. All I have to do is get ready and drive here – then it’ll be time to leave.” Sure enough, it is. 5 PM and I’m out the door, down stairs, into my car. Shuffle through my bag to make sure I have earplugs; good.

Get to Starbucks around 5:40. They know my order, I pay refill price first go-around. Take a seat, plug in, turn on, and I write. Immediately. It’s what I love to do – but just not in this way. I move the chair close and swat at keys until 8 PM. It’s technical writing, sometimes promotional copy. Sometimes it’s good at best. I take some calls. Prepare for books on the way. All I ate today was pb&j. All I wrote today was garbled nothing. So hungry.

I keep stories in my head these days. This is where they start and end. I don’t have time to get them out. God, oh man, I wish I did. I daydream about characters, about sentences. I edit things I’ve never written, just committed to memory. I won’t forget, I can’t. Someday I’ll get to write what I want. It will be glorious. I won’t eat pb&j that day. But if I do, I’ll go with chunky.

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Author: antbrov

Fiction | Magical Realism | Introspective Write > Edit > Hate > Learn > Write...

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