Pennsylvania Man Narrowly Escapes Pissing All Over Himself

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Wilkes-Barre—4:45 this morning, Franklin DelBueno threw the covers from his futon bed and raced upstairs to use the bathroom. “I remember dreaming about peeing, and then something just clicked—my eyes popped open.” Before Franklin’s mad dash, a reported “few trickles” of urine slid down his leg, leaving remnants of his sad existence on his now-stained sheets. The nude-sleeping 31-year-old did, however, manage to find his way upstairs in the dark and into the bathroom just in time—without waking his parents, fast-asleep down the hall. Franklin admitted this was not the first time he’d been interrupted mid-dream by a sudden urge to use the bathroom. “These dreams are kind of like my mind’s way of saying ‘Wake up, you idiot! You need to go piss right now!’ This time, it was photo-finish, I was lucky.” recalled DelBueno, who paused to count his blessings.

Though Franklin’s race to the toilet wasn’t perfect, he disclosed that things could have turned out far worse. “There have been times when I didn’t wake up in time and felt terrible the next morning—and nasty-wet. There’s no excuse, I don’t even drink. Peeing dreams are really relaxing, at least.” Franklin’s parents refused to comment on these events but expressed their hope that Franklin finds a full-time job soon so he can finally move out from their basement, noting that “he can take the goddamn futon with him.”

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Author: antbrov

Fiction | Magical Realism | Introspective Write > Edit > Hate > Learn > Write...

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