I’m having trouble sticking with one story. I start something, get to some point in it, and another thought pops into my head. I look to jot it down, but it starts becoming another story until it happens again—or I really hate what I wrote and give up for the night.

I’m not even sure where I was going with whatever story I began with—got one in front of me I tried to continue, but I have no idea how. The last sentence I have down reads:

“Wore a cross around my neck until I was about 23, maybe 24, but did so because my mother gave it to me, my father a gold italian horn.”

From here, I thought “hey, what about a story about a guy who’s down and out, so for a piece of luck, he starts wearing his childhood chain with familial pendants. His luck starts changing and he has a great day, until he realizes it’s because of the perception attached to the pendants he wears. People are treating him differently because they think he’s a different person.” The idea is the pendant is a cloak for his true persona—what can I say, I get subversive. So I left that chain hanging for golder pastures, started writing a story about a dude named Charlie who…well you’ve already read the previous sentences, you know…

And this worked fine, I was rolling right along, until I hit a dead sendtence. I didn’t even continue the story because it’s that bad—so this is where that story ended. I guess it could be reworked or backspaced out of existence, but I’d rather forget the whole story, it’s just better for everyone involved. The last sentence of that wasted notepad reads:

“Charlie embraced his name, made a hero of the melancholy Peanuts character”


So I stopped it there, shot dead on site. In fact, I stopped writing for the night after that sucker-punch from my brain. Instead, I started watching this film from New Zealand (available on Netflix!!!) called “Boy”, it’s a really good movie, or at least it probably is, I couldn’t even finish that without stumbling into something different for an instant.

They use the word “Far” so oddly in that movie, for example:

“Far, you’ve been missing out on all the fun.” What? What does it mean?!

So I paused the movie, clicked on over to Google, and typed some searchable terms in. There’s not much on the word and absolutely nothing on its etymology. The only reference to the word I saw was on some Facebook post from 2009, using “far” word to explain some other word, “mean”, meaning ‘awesome’.

“far you’re mean as cuz”. It drove me nuts. It’s slang for sure, but I’m not sure if it’s Aussie, Maori, or Cockney. This search lasted a good hour and a half before I gave up on the damn thing, forgot I was watching a movie, and went to sleep. Wrote it off as a local way of saying “forget it”, guess I’ll always just be Pakeha.

Holy crap…I guess I really do have problems finishing things. I dunno, let me sleep on it. I’ll come back to this later.


Author: antbrov

Fiction | Magical Realism | Introspective Write > Edit > Hate > Learn > Write...

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