I don’t like to brag. Wait. Hold on. Am I about to be that person that says “I don’t want to sound X, but XXXX”? Hmmm. Guess I could stay silent and overthink this to hell and back, but I don’t like to be that person, either. Well, this post certainly hit a wall quick…

It was a good summer. A very good one. Finished it off camping on one of the islands dotting Indian Lake, watching the blushing trees begin their orange and red autumn blossom. Felt like I could watch them forever. The island was small, but I felt free to think about whatever I wanted—truly a feeling I don’t indulge often.

I’d rather be out in the mountains than in the city; away from the bustle, constant news tickers, and general pessimism of this place. The island, for 3 days, was our bubble completely surrounded by Appalachian Mountains. How long had it been since I ran for no real reason? Climbed a tree to tie a rope around? Laid on a rock and watched more stars than I’d ever seen? Jumped and howled and started wild rumpuses? On our second day Nikko thought aloud, “I loved every second of today”. How long had it been since I thought that? It didn’t and doesn’t matter, really, so long as I felt it. Maybe I’ll be one helluva lucky guy and get to feel it again.

I came back from the camping trip fresh and hopeful. Happy. That’s a good word. I like that one. Phenomenal, too. Both are newer to my lexicon, and they’re both pretty awesome to feel and say. I like telling people I’m phenomenal, or happy. I like their smile or laugh after. I like that the words, for the splittest of seconds, fills them with what I feel. People used to think I was an asshole because I was depressed in mind and word. Even if I told them I had a mental disorder, I was still supposed to act happy; it was rough going. It’s nice to see them smile and laugh because of something I’ve said again.

I only work 8 hours a day; the rest is spent doing whatever I’d like. The office windows give a stunning view of the Hackensack River, I’ve even bragged about the sunset to newer coworkers. I’m stuck in a city right now, just outside THE city, but I can’t really complain. I’m in a good place. The job’s temporary, but the view is great.

Ya know, I started this post as one of my Starbucks voyeur things, but this came out instead. The people here don’t look interesting for what I write tonight—they look pretty phenomenal.

Ugh…this is pretty saccharine. OK, this is the LAST time I write while listening to Sigur Ros…


Author: antbrov

Fiction | Magical Realism | Introspective Write > Edit > Hate > Learn > Write...

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